Citizen Cartwright

Tools for stressful times: Deep, slow breathing

As we’ve noted many times before, we humans aren’t comfortable with uncertainty and change.

 

And here we are, facing this week’s high-stakes, toss-up 2024 election. It’s impossible to know who will be president or which party will be in the House and Senate majority, enacting or eviscerating the president’s agenda.

 

What helps me most in times like these is deep, slow breathing. I heard a top U.S. therapist say in a webinar a few years ago that this works because it tricks the body into thinking it can’t be anxious, or it would be breathing faster.

 

So I put one hand on my belly, to feel it expand as I breathe, and the other on my heart, in compassion for myself and for our human family.

 

And then I follow this 4-7-8 breathing technique that I’m seeing suggested pretty much everywhere these days:

 

— Inhale through your nose while counting slowly to four

— Hold your breath while counting to seven

— Exhale through your mouth while counting to eight (the slow exhale is the key)

 

Here is more on this technique from the Cleveland Clinic.

 

I like to think of our human family as a pile of puppies, cozy even as we gnaw each other's ears. I’m grateful to be in the pile of puppies with you, dear readers.

Efforts to heal partisanship

“The nation’s poisonous divisions, exacerbated by politicians, cable news and social media, and collectively known as the outrage industrial complex, have been much lamented. Less noticed is the counterweight, a constellation of nonprofits and other organizations like the Kentucky Rural Urban Exchange devoted to bridging divides — urban and rural, Black and white, LGBTQ and straight, left and right. Call it the kumbaya industrial complex,” says The New York Times.

 

“We have to be focused on what we call the exhausted majority — that’s 65 percent of Americans,” says Stephen Heintz, president and chief executive of the Rockefeller Brothers Fund, a major financial backer of the proliferating groups trying to promote common ground. “It’s just not an efficient use of time to convince true ideologues to compromise.”

 

On Monday, with the backing of Rockefeller Brothers, the MacArthur Foundation, the Emerson Collective and others, a new group, Trust for Civic Life, awarded its first $8 million to 20 civic groups considered the most promising in their efforts to rebuild community and reinforce democratic values.

 

The first trust grants, chosen from more than 60 organizations, were announced in Boulder, Colo., at a Democracy Funders Strategy Summit on combating authoritarianism — “more evidence that bridge-building has become the hot new concept in a country looking for hope,” the Times says. 

 

Another $2 million will come later this year to meet the trust’s pledge of $10 million a year for community-level democracy efforts, says the Times. In this case, “democracy” is with a small “d” — emphasizing efforts to shore up the values needed to promote democratic pluralism, without explicit mentions of Republicans or Democrats.

 

In Minnesota, a Rural-Urban Exchange modeled on Kentucky’s is taking root. Braver Angels, a national organization, explicitly seeks to develop dialogue and respect across the political divide. 

 

The Lyceum Movement, hearkening back to early 19th-century efforts to forge communities in a new nation, is convening meetings and lectures in towns large and small in Iowa, Michigan and Minnesota, “trying to stand in for local institutions like churches, newspapers and service societies that have atrophied, replaced by a national tribalism,” according to the Times.

 

Lyceums began in the early 19th century to bring the brightest minds to small towns and rural lecture halls in the hope of bringing all the citizens of the fledgling American democracy into the communal conversation. By the outbreak of the Civil War, there were about 3,000 lyceums in the United States, says the Times.

 

NewGround is expanding from its Los Angeles base to train facilitators who foster dialogue between Muslims and Jews at one of the most difficult moments in the history of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And at colleges and universities, BridgeUSA has established 65 chapters, hoping to make those who embrace dialogue the real campus radicals, not those who fall in line with the left or right, says Manu Meel, the organization’s chief executive.

 

“If you’re a student, you need to feel that the way you earn credibility is to be a bridge builder, not a conflict entrepreneur,” Meel says.

Tools for stressful times: The goodness beneath the behavior

Amid the threats of political violence following the Trump verdict, thank goodness for the countervailing, inspirational work of people like Jesuit priest Gregory Boyle, with gang members in Los Angeles.

I’m reading his 2021 book, “The Whole Language: The Power of Extravagant Tenderness.” 

I mentioned his work in this blog in 2018 after reading his first book, “Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion.”

At that time, I quoted his approach: "You stand [in compassion and kinship] with the belligerent, the surly, and the badly behaved until bad behavior is recognized for the language it is: the vocabulary of the deeply wounded and of those whose burdens are more than they can bear.”

Among the stories Boyle tells in “Whole Language”: Saul was horrifically abused (I’ll leave out the details) by his stepfather and other family members. At 13, he killed his stepfather. He spent thirteen years in Youth Authority and then graduated to prison for another ten years.

Boyle says: "Saul’s history was a life-denying landscape filled with shame, a sense of unworthiness and self-hatred. He now opens to life without his previous armoring.”

Saul eventually said, "I’ve decided to grow up to be somebody I always needed as a child.”

He went on to show tenderness to emotionally wounded young men, treating them like his sons and helping them to recover.

Examples like this enable me to practice living in our common, healing humanity rather than in fear of the behavior of the wounded.

Tools for stressful times

People at every point in history probably felt they lived in stressful times. The good news right now is that we have so many tools to calm ourselves.

As you know, in this blog, I’m trying to provide a balanced view of what’s going on.

Recently I asked John Dineen — who’s spent his career as an insider in government and media — to help separate the news we informed citizens need from the news that media need to run to get clicks for their own financial survival.

Now I’d like to do more to share tools I’ve come across that help me and the people I work with as a coach/tutor to handle difficult situations and difficult feelings.

I’m creating a new category in this blog called "Tools for stressful times," where I’ve put items I’ve run in the past and will put items in the future. I’m also going to run a Tools for stressful times item that will stay at the top of this blog every day to remind us of key tools.

For today:

The 12-step programs say we can be serene no matter what. This, of course, takes practice. 

While I’m not religious, when I first heard, as a teenager or young adult, the Serenity Prayer used by the 12-step programs, I thought it was so wise.

So here’s a tool that's being used right now by millions of people, in and outside 12-step programs, around the world.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Rep. Dusty Johnson, R-S.D., said in the run up to Marjorie Taylor Greene’s recent effort to oust House Speaker Mike Johnson:

“The Serenity Prayer is insightful here. There is nothing that realistically can be done to guarantee that that weapon is disarmed. Frankly, how freeing, because now every single one of us whose taken the oath of office to serve in the House understands that we just have to do our job in the best possible way, and let the chips fall where they will.” 

Private equity’s increasing role in caring for our most vulnerable

We’ve already talked about the role of private equity in assisted living facilities, nursing homes, hospices, hospitals (you may recall the series of articles in 2022 by KHN, since renamed KFF Health News). 

 

Now, each of the top five for-profit child care chains — KinderCare, Learning Care Group, the Goddard School, Primrose Schools and Bright Horizons — is controlled by private-equity funds, and private-equity-backed centers have 10 to 12 percent of the market, says The Atlantic.

 

I recently discovered that private equity also is in psychotherapy.

 

And physical therapy.

 

And the care of children with autism.

 

The Atlantic article reminds us of some of the problems of the private equity business model, according to the book "Plunder: Private Equity's Plan to Pillage America,” by Brendan Ballou, former special counsel for private equity at the Justice Department:

 

— Private equity buys a business with the intention of flipping it for a profit, not long-term sustainability, meaning it's trying to maximize value in the short term and is less likely to invest in staff or facilities. 

 

— It tends to load businesses with debt and a lot of fees. 

 

— Its business structure insulates private equity firms from liability.

 

I’m always grateful when someone who points out a problem also recommends solutions, as Ballou does in his book. I’ve been meaning to summarize them here.

This Valentine’s Day, a tip to feel calm, cozy

As you know, I work as an academic tutor and coach for children and teens. Much of my work is helping them deal with anxiety.

 

In a class I take that trains therapists and coaches, I recently learned about the book "Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster,” by Linda Graham, a marriage and family therapist.

 

The book contains more than 130 exercises to help people survive and thrive, no matter what.

 

So for this Valentine’s Day, in these anxious times, here is a very simple tool Graham describes as “portable equilibrium,” that’s powerful enough to calm a panic attack in less than a minute:

 

— Put your hand on your heart and breathe in a sense of safety or goodness.

 

— Remember one moment when you felt safe or loved by another human or a pet.

 

— Feel those feelings for 20 to 30 seconds.

 

— Repeat this practice many times a day at first, “to strengthen the neural circuitry that remembers this pattern.”

 

"Remembering a moment of feeling safe, loved, and cherished by another person or pet activates the social vagus, reassuring you that indeed you are safe, you belong, and you are welcomed,” Graham says. "Your blood pressure decreases, and your heart rate stabilizes. You return to the sense of safety that comes from a feeling of connection and belonging with safe others, even when you are alone.”

 

She suggests practicing this exercise whenever you feel the first sign of an upset. With practice, it will enable you to avert a difficult emotional reaction before it hijacks you. 

 

At a minimum, she suggests practicing it five times a day for a week to train your brain in this new response to any difficult moment.

The role of conspiracy theories in American politics, society

We humans always have speculated about secret motives and plots as a way to understand the world and avoid danger, says The Associated Press.

 

Interviews with experts on technology, psychology and politics provide insight into why people choose to believe and spread conspiracy theories — and how those beliefs are affecting our mental health, our politics and our society, AP says.

 

Conspiracy theories can be a shortcut to understanding. They fill in gaps of understanding with speculation that often reflects more about the believer’s inner beliefs than the events themselves, says AP. Conspiracy theories suggesting that vaccinations are being used to implant microchips in people, for example, reflect concerns about technology, medicine and government power. 

 

False claims and conspiracy theories can travel farther and faster than ever via the internet, and social media algorithms prioritize content that elicits strong emotions, like anger and fear, AP notes.

 

AP says it interviewed dozens of current and former conspiracy theory believers to understand what led them to believe, and they consistently said the theories offered them a sense of power and control in a world that can seem random and chaotic.

 

AP says it took a close look at conspiracy theories involving medbeds, futuristic-looking devices that believers think can reverse aging and cure a long list of illnesses. According to claims circulating online, the U.S. military is hiding the technology from the public, but Donald Trump, if he wins another term as president, will make them available for free. For people desperate to get help with a medical condition, the claims can be too tempting to ignore.

 

Meanwhile, U.S.-based tech platforms have rolled back their efforts to root out misinformation and hate speech, following the lead of Elon Musk, who fired most of the content moderators when he bought Twitter, says another AP article.

 

“There’s been a big step backward,” says Evan Hansen, the former editor of Wired.com who was Twitter’s director of curation before leaving when Musk purchased the platform. “It’s gotten to be a very difficult job for the casual observer to figure out: What do I believe here?”

 

Hansen says a combination of government regulations, voluntary action by tech titans and public awareness will be needed to combat the coming wave of synthetic media.

 

A third AP article talks about conspiracy theories in U.S. history, including this one:

 

In the 1800 presidential race between President John Adams, a Federalist, and Vice President Thomas Jefferson, a Democratic-Republican, rumors circulated among Federalists that Jefferson was an atheist who would hand America over to France if elected. 

What would Einstein do?

In addition to being a famous physicist, Albert Einsten "was a pacifist, a political activist, an active anti-racist, and one of the most iconic and celebrated figures in all of history," says Big Think.

 

"He was also known for his unconventional behavior in a variety of ways that flouted social norms, including his unkempt hair, his witty humor, and his unrelenting hatred of socks," Big Think says. "But less well-known is Einstein’s freely-given life advice to many of his friends, acquaintances, and contemporaries, which are perhaps even more relevant today, in the 21st century, than when he initially doled out his words of wisdom and compassion."

 

"The Einstein Effect," a book published in July, provides some of that life advice. "Full of humor and surprises, 'The Einstein Effect' is the perfect read for fans of a larger-than-life figure whose heartfelt dedication to human rights rivaled only his groundbreaking science," says Paul Halpern, physics professor and author of Einstein’s Dice and Schrödinger’s Cat.

 

One of my favorite examples of Einstein's approach:

 

"Think about the problems that we face, both as individuals and collectively, as a civilization,” says Big Think. "These could be financial, environmental, health-related, or political, for example, as those arenas affect us all. Do you view these problems as crises? If you do, you probably feel despair at them, as there’s very little that’s empowering about facing a crisis. But if you view them as a puzzle, you might be inclined to think about a fresh approach to solving them. In this regard, Einstein was pretty much the prototype individual for someone who viewed every difficulty he faced as a puzzle to be solved: in physics and beyond."

What would Einstein do?

In addition to being a famous physicist, Albert Einsten "was a pacifist, a political activist, an active anti-racist, and one of the most iconic and celebrated figures in all of history," says Big Think.

 

"He was also known for his unconventional behavior in a variety of ways that flouted social norms, including his unkempt hair, his witty humor, and his unrelenting hatred of socks," Big Think says. "But less well-known is Einstein’s freely-given life advice to many of his friends, acquaintances, and contemporaries, which are perhaps even more relevant today, in the 21st century, than when he initially doled out his words of wisdom and compassion."

 

"The Einstein Effect," a book published in July, provides some of that life advice. "Full of humor and surprises, 'The Einstein Effect' is the perfect read for fans of a larger-than-life figure whose heartfelt dedication to human rights rivaled only his groundbreaking science," says Paul Halpern, physics professor and author of Einstein’s Dice and Schrödinger’s Cat.

 

One of my favorite examples of Einstein's approach:

 

"Think about the problems that we face, both as individuals and collectively, as a civilization,” says Big Think. "These could be financial, environmental, health-related, or political, for example, as those arenas affect us all. Do you view these problems as crises? If you do, you probably feel despair at them, as there’s very little that’s empowering about facing a crisis. But if you view them as a puzzle, you might be inclined to think about a fresh approach to solving them. In this regard, Einstein was pretty much the prototype individual for someone who viewed every difficulty he faced as a puzzle to be solved: in physics and beyond."

Americans 'too pessimistic about the future'

It’s summer vacation time in Australia, and our friends at Future Crunch apparently have taken time off from their good-news publication.

 

So let’s turn this Friday to Fareed Zakaria, Washington Post columnist and CNN host of "Fareed Zakaria GPS," a weekly international and domestic affairs program.

 

In a Post column headlined "Americans are far too pessimistic about the future,” Zakaria says:

 

"The U.S. economy grew an astonishing 5.2 percent in the third quarter of 2023, and the International Monetary Fund expects growth for last year to be 2.1 percent, which is substantially better than other advanced Western economies such as Canada, Germany and Britain. Inflation is dropping sharply, real wages are up and manufacturing employment is experiencing a boom. It is hard to find another country where so many measures are pointing in the right direction.

 

"The broader picture is even more positive. As I write in the current issue of Foreign Affairs, the United States has been besting its competitors in various crucial metrics for a while. The Financial Times did an analysis of the many ways in which the United States’ economy could be compared with Europe’s, and it found that in per capita growth, the United States has been ‘outperforming' Britain and the euro zone for 20 years and has ‘dwarfed' the economies of Spain, France and Italy.

 

"The U.S. technology sector dominates the world in a way that no country ever has. The value of the top 10 U.S. technology stocks is now greater than the value of the entire stock markets of Canada, Britain, France and Germany combined. The United States is the world’s largest producer of oil and gas. It has the healthiest demographics of any advanced country, and it takes in around 1 million legal immigrants a year, which ensures that while Europe and Japan are expected to slowly sink in population, the United States will continue to grow."

 

"America has serious problems,” Zakaria says. "What nation doesn’t? But it has gotten through these kinds of crises before, and I am confident it will again.”